How Acceptance Actually Works (and What It Isn't)

Jul 21, 2025
2 min read

Updated: 6 days ago

We often think of “acceptance” as giving up - like waving a white flag to our pain. But real acceptance is much more alive than that. It's not about liking what’s happening or pretending everything is okay. It's about making room for your experience as it is, so you're not constantly fighting reality.

Take mindfulness teacher Corey Muscara, for example, who once went on a 6-month silent Buddhist retreat - and nearly quit. What pushed him to the edge wasn’t the endless silence, or the extreme pain and discomfort of sitting for hours on end. It was the thoughts about his thoughts.

That is, the judgments, the narratives, and the stories his mind was spinning. Once he saw that the raw experience itself wasn’t unbearable - just his reaction to it - things began to shift, and he stayed the course.

This is a powerful reminder: sometimes it’s not the feeling itself that overwhelms us, but our resistance to it.

How do I apply this to my day?

Here’s what acceptance can actually look like in everyday life:

Noticing thoughts and emotions without judgment — Try naming what’s happening (“anxiety,” “grief,” “tightness in the chest”) and notice where it lives in your body → Awareness is the first step to softening the struggle.

Inviting curiosity instead of resistance — Instead of asking “Why do I have to feel this?”, try asking “What might this be trying to tell me?” → Curiosity opens the door to compassion and insight.

Allowing the intensity to rise and fall naturally — Emotions often move like waves. If we let them crest and pass, rather than trying to block or outrun them, we spend less energy bracing and more energy living.
Using the breath or the body to ground — A few steady breaths. Feeling your feet on the floor. These are simple ways to stay tethered to the present when the mind starts to spiral.

Acceptance isn’t passive, it’s a practice

It gives us just enough space between the feeling and the reaction so we can choose something different. Not to fix ourselves, but to meet ourselves, fully.

And sometimes, that small shift in perspective is everything.

If you need support with signposting to navigate tricky topics around acceptance - get in touch. I'm here to help!

Lizzie x