How to do an emotional check-in

Emotions drive our choices - food, purchases, friends, actions, house-moves - you name it. The things that we choose to do highly likely to not be driven by logic all of the time - despite what we might like to think!

Our emotions come from different parts of us. When we tune into which part is speaking - the tired part, the anxious part, the hopeful part, we start to understand what we’re really feeling and why. That helps us manage expectations. If a part of you is feeling off, it makes sense that your mood might dip, and difficult thoughts and feelings might come up - which drives our decision-making toward comfort. That's normal!

What trips us up is the expectation that we should feel good all the time. But emotions aren’t problems to fix, they’re simply signals. Naming how we truly feel can actually be freeing. It takes the pressure off having to show up as happy, cheerful, or "fine" when that’s not what’s real for you.

It also allows you to acknowledge what you're going through. Emotions are like persistent demanding children - they want to be acknowledged - and they will keep nagging you until you do so!

You don’t have to pick one feeling and stay stuck in it. Emotions are more like a playlist than a single track - you can hold sadness, joy, tension, and peace all in the same day. This means that you’re emotionally alive!

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Exercise

Decide a best time to sit still in quiet, and observe your emotions. Take them one-by-one. This could work best when you're feeling a little uncomfortable, but can be done at any moment.

1. Notice what emotion is present (use the wheel below - it can be very helpful)

2. Locate the emotion in your body (e.g., chest, throat, belly)

3. Name it gently (“This is anxiety,” “This is loneliness”)

4. Let it be - no fixing, just feeling. Place a hand where you feel the emotion and allow it to be, with compassion.

5. Ask: “What need might this emotion be signalling right now? Is there any way that I can let it out? Is there any way that I can gently accept this feeling while it passes by? Am I trying to control anything that needs to be set free?”

   
   

You can write it down, or simply sit with it for a few breaths. Some people like to say a prayer 0r motto (suggested below).

Emotion wheel - what do you feel?

Once you understand an emotion and make space for it to visit - it can help you to feel less afraid or resistant to passing feelings. It can help to uncover things that need to be set free, or accepted.

For struggles with things that can't be changed overnight, there’s a short prayer from Alcoholics Anonymous that I’ve always found powerful - even as someone who isn’t religious. It goes:

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

We go into much detail on the topic of dealing with emotions in the Mastery: Psychology course- make sure to reach out if you're interested in joining, or you'd like signposting to support. I'm here!

Lizzie