When Life Hurts: Reconciling with Suffering on a Wellness Journey

For many, health is seen as the absence of pain, the presence of energy, and a sense of overall wellness. But life rarely unfolds in such clean lines. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we are met with suffering - physical, emotional, or spiritual - that lingers far longer than we’d like.

What happens then? How do we make sense of life? Are we still allowed to call ourselves healthy, happy, or whole?

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The gift of pain?

Like many of the people I now support, I’ve walked through my own version of struggle, and it has heightened my awareness of the strength it takes just to keep going - especially if you don't think it will end.

Of course, nobody would ever ask for the "gift" of pain. But at my lowest points, I asked myself: If I knew I’d be better tomorrow - would I want to keep the wisdom suffering has given me?

The answer was complicated. Though pain and isolation felt cruel and futile moment-to-moment, I now recognise how much I have gained from it. There is never a time that I could have felt more alone - or more supported - than when I was completely vulnerable.

Some of these lessons include:

• Courage

  to hold honest, vulnerable conversations with others in pain

• A deeper connection

  and gratitude for love, truth, and beauty in the world around me

• Deeper humility

  and increased empathy, compassion and self-compassion

• The experience of receiving sacrificial love and support

  you don’t know what it is to give, until you know what it is to receive

• The strength to endure hardship

  and the importance of holding space for, and never minimising another person’s pain

  
  

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Moving Through Pain Without Judgment

It is not right to placate someone’s suffering with “at least” statements, ("at least you didn't suffer worse!" - or - “at least it’s not as bad now!”).

But to accept that in even the darkest places, we can find the courage to face pain, and the courage to seek out the co-existence of beauty in life means that nothing in our lives is a mistake, and no moment without meaning.

The best outcome is that we can befriend our pain and use it as our greatest teacher, and our greatest gift to others. But we must always be kind to ourselves throughout the journey - and remember that we will always be worthy just as we are.

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If you are suffering and don't know where to turn - please reach out for signposting and support. There's always hope, no matter how dark it gets.

Lizzie x